The Government is to build 200,000 second houses to help home owners on to the buy-to-let ladder.

In an impassioned speech, the prime minister vowed to end the housing crisis which has deprived millions of a respectable second income.

Cameron said: “Why should students be waking up in their childhood bedrooms when, with a little help from the government, they could be living in a new house bought by their parents and serving as the capricious, cold-eyed landlord to their friends?

“We need to shift from generation rent to generation rental portfolio.”

Alas, we cannot pretend to have written a word of this groundbreaking story, which is also quotes Emma Bradford, 29, who said: “We’ve just got married and would like to start exploiting other people like us.

“Our dream is to be able to say ‘You can’t have your deposit back because there’s biscuit crumbs behind the sofa’ with a you’ve-hurt-our-feelings facial expression.”

Only in the Daily Mash – and more power to its elbow, otherwise known as the funny bone.